


Küss mich.

by liionne



Series: A thousand ways to meet [22]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim tries to win the affections of a certain Leonard McCoy - even though they don't speak the same language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Küss mich.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt by Lucy - I just ope I did her justice!
> 
> This is another one of those fics were I started out liking it, and ended up hating it. So I understand if you all hate it too, really.
> 
> And I decided to make Bones German because Karl Urban's father is German.
> 
> There might be typos in here. I also apologise for the horrible German - I was a French student myself, and so had to use google translate for the parts of here that are in German. If there are any German speakers out there who want to correct me, feel free!
> 
> The title means "Kiss me" in german, too.

College abroad was hard; his professors were dumping on him left, right and centre, drowning him in a swamp of astrophysics and astronomy. He couldn't speak the language, so getting around was pretty damn hard too. He wasn't having a good time of it.

But, there was a silver lining to every grey cloud. Sam had told him that German girls weren't all that nice (although Jim had told him that they were probably lovely, and Sam was just a prick) - he had never mentioned, however, the German boys.

There was one guy that Jim saw every day, and decided that he was going to tap that. He always saw him in his favourite coffee shop, stood at the counter in blue scrubs and a hoody jacket. The scrbs made hisass look great, and Jim always found himself staring.

"schwarzer Kaffee," He'd say, and although Jim knew enough conversational German to get by, so he knew that he wasn't saying anything special, just his low, gruff voice was enough to send shivers down his spine.

He decided to go for it, one day. He sidled up to him one morning when the queue for coffee was almost out the door, and he said, "Do you come here often?"

The other guy regarded him for a long time. "Ich kann kein Englisch." He said, before turning away to give his order.

Jim, who decided that he had been thoroughly rebuked and horribly embarrassed, gave a huff before he left the store, sans coffee.

He flopped down onto the sofa in his tiny dorm room, groaning into the cushions. His room mate, Spock, didn't even look up from the physics thesis paper he was writing. "Is something wrong?"

"That damn german is ruining my life!" Jim groaned.

Spock meerly arched his eyebrow, and continued to work.

~*~

Jim had looked up what he'd said: "I can't speak English."

Well, at least it wasn't a formal telling of like he thought he'd been getting.

He sat up the night before his mock astrophysics exam, glaring at a German phrasebook as if that would make the new language jump into his head.

Spock came in from his last class of the day, a late class for the more _elite_ students, and just raised his eyebrows as Jim muttered things in German.

"Are you still obsessing over the same boy you met at the coffee shop?" He asked, as he moved over to his bunk.

"Yes," Jim hissed. "mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale-" He said sowly, butchering the language as his tongue fell over the syllables. He was supposed to be a genius, so why couldn't he wrap his head around the thing?

Spock did nothing but turn his back as he heard Jim throw the book against the wall.

~*~

Jim, not at all confidant in his German but will to try anyway. The guy was just about to get his coffee, so whilst he waited, Jim sidled up to him yet again.

"Habe-Haben Sie oft hi-hierher?" He asked, stumbling over the words and then flushing a bright red.

The lady with the stupidly red hair behind the counter was watching them, his coffee in her hand. The Guy, as he was quickly becoming known, raised his eyebrows.

"Ich kann sprechen kein dass entweder." He said, taking his coffee from her and leaving.

The girl giggled. "Your German- not so good." Her name-tag read Gaila; Jim grimaced at her. "Tell him this: Ich würde gerne der Grund für Deine schlaflose Nacht sein."

Genius as he was, Jim couldn't remember all of that off the top of his like that. Maybe it was a good job, too; one of her colleagues looked round, dark hair swishing as she did so and she shrieked, "Don't say that to him!"

"Why, what does it mean?" Jim asked, cautiously. She sounded American - Jim liked her already.

"It means 'I'd like to be the reason for you sleepless night'." She looked at Gaila, and pointedly pursed her lips.

Gaila just giggled as she walked off through the back.

"I heard your _horrible_ attempt at German," She - _Uhura_ \- said, as she placed her hands down on the counter.

"Yeah," Jim murmured, looking away.

"Don't be embarrassed," She said, giving a small smile. "It's a hard language."

"Sure." Jim muttered. And he was meant to be the only Genius Repeat Offender in the whole continent.

"Were you trying to ask him out?" She asked.

Jim nodded sullenly.

She gave a small smile, and then nodded. "I'll agree to help you," She said.

"If?" Jim added, because he could hear it in her tone.

"If-" She added for herself. "-you stop looking at my chest and start looking at my eyes."

Jim looked up from the counter, and shot her a grin. "I think I can agree to that." he nodded. "But you do have an _amazing_ rack."

She scowled. "Just be here earlier than usual tomorrow so I can help you, okay?"

"Okay." Jim nodded, grabbing his coffee and trying not to skip out of the door.

~*~

He was there for the store opening.

Uhura rolled his eyes, but let him inside when she opened the shutters.

"So tell me something about you that I can tell him." She said, as she poured him a hazelnut latte.

Jim raised his eyebrows at her peculiar choice of phrasing, but answered, "Well, I'm a student. I'm from America. And I have very talented hips." he grinned wickedly.

"I'm not telling him that." She said, pursing her lips.

"Well then just tell him the first bit. And that I like him. A lot." Jim said,taking a sip of the preoffered drink.

She nodded, and took her place behind the counter.

"Oh!" Jim cried, leaping to his feet and walking quickly over to the counter. He slid a piece of paper with his phone number on it across the counter, and ginned. "If he seems interested, slip him this."

She might've rolled her eyes, but she nodded. Pulling her green apron on, she got back towork.

His guy - he had decided to call him Bones, seeing as he was a doctor and all - came in around an hour or so later. It was an hour of horrible waiting for Jim, who tried to ignore the butterflies batting at the inside of his stomach. He kept looking at the door, and then looking at his watch, counting down the minutres until he'd usually arrive at the shop.

And then, he came. His Adnois (was that too cheesy?). He walked up to the counter, and Jim watched the swing of his hips and the strong line of his shoulders as if nothing else mattered. Which, he decided, it didn't.

He ordered the same as usual, and before she handed her coffee ove to him, Uhura said something else. She pointed to the corner Jim was sat in, and he looked away, pretending he didn't have a clue what was going on. Bones turned to look at him, and that was when he turned his head, grinning a little. Bones looked away, and Jim grimaced to himself.

He watched as Uhura slid the piece of paper across the counter at him, and set his coffee down with it. Bones regarded them both for a long time, and then picked up his coffee. Jim felt more than a little sorry for himself as he sighed, sure that Bones was just going to leave his number and start going to a different coffee shop to escape this harrassment.

Bones nodded to Uhura, said something in German, and then left. He didn't look at Jim, but that didn't matter; Jim had seen him slip his number into his pocket, and he was pretty damn pleased with himself.

~*~

"Jim, I-" Spock paused in the doorway with an armful of papers. "I was not expecting company."

Jim and Uhura was sat on the raggedy sofa like teenage girls, staring at the phone. Spock looked at them both, and then went to put the papers down on his bunk.

"Who is your friend?" He asked.

"Spock, Uhura; Uhura, Spock." Jim introuced, not even looking away from his phone.

Uhura and Spock looked at each other for a very long time. Jim still didn't look away from his phone. Not until it rang anyway, the display showing an unknown number.

Jim shrieked, and Uhura was brought back to reality. "Answer it, then." She said.

Jim nodded. He took a deep breath, and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Hallo," Came the response. God damn did Bones have a nice voice. It was a whisky and cigarettes voice, the type of voice that woud sound _perfect_ when Jim had him pinned down to the mattress and- "Ist das Jim?"

"Y-yeah." Jim answered hesitantly. "It's me. And Uhura."

"Hallo Leonard," She said, speaking loud and clear as she gazed at the wall above Jim's shoulder.

Bones - Leonard! - gave a huff, and then said something that Jim just couldn't catch. It made Uhura laugh, and she translated, "He says, is there no privacy?"

Jim laughed, and said, "Ask him if he wants to go for drinks on friday. If you'll be my translator?"

She nodded, and said something that, once again, Jim just couldn't catch. He heard Leonard laugh, and then reply.

"He said he'd love to," She translated.

Jim was vaguely aware of Spock watching them both from the corner.

"Tell him I'll pick him up. Outside the coffee shop." Jim grinned. He couldn't believe his luck; Bones, of all people, who looked so grumpy and so miserable, had agreed to go out on a date with him. And he'd actually sounded pretty happy about it.

Uhura spoke quickly, as did Leonard.

"He says he'll see you there at nine."

"Nine it is." Jim nodded, with a wicked grin.

"Is that all?" Uhura asked.

Jim nodded. "Yes." Uhura opened her mouth to speak, but then he changed his mind. "No wait- tell him he looks good in scrubs."

She sighed. "Er sagt, dass Sie in OP-Klamotten gut aussehen."

There was silence, and then a few grumble words. The smirk to her lips said that he was about to get a response that he just didn't want to hear.

"He said he'll see you at nine." She smirked, and Jim rolled his eyes.

"Bis nachher, Leonard," he said in a sing-song voice.

"Bis nachher, Jim," He replied, before they call was ended.

Jim might of squealed. Just a little.

"You're such a girl." Uhura rolled her eyes.

"When you have a date with the hottest guy in Berlin you get back to me." Jim grinned, moving to throw himself onto his bunk. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Uhura sighed. "I expect bigger tips for this Jim!" She called as she left.

Jim didn't respond, too blisfully happy to care.

~*~

He waited outside of the coffee shop for a good, solid hour.

But Bones did not show up.

Uhura rang at ten past ten. "He said he got roped into an extra shift at the hospital," She explained. "He said he's really sorry, Jim."

Jim deflated; of course. Of course he wasn't coming. How stupid of him to wait. He probably had better things to do, and was just trying to let Jim down gently. Sure. He should've known.

He was just a stupid American boy after all, wasn't he?

"He wanted to know if you could reschedule? He said he'll call you." Uhura added.

"Sure," Jim mumbled. He couldn't quite get his feet to move yet, although it wasn't like Leonard was coming. "I get it. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"It's not his fault, Jim." uhura said quietly.

"Never said it was." Jim replied, clicking "end call" and beginning his lonely walk home.

He should've been paying more attention, admittedkly. He stared at the screen of his phone, wondering if he should maybe call Leonard. What he'd say when if he picked up he wasn't sure. It wasn't like he could do very much more than ask him for a coffee and tell him the time.

And that was when he was hit by the car.

~*~

When he woke up, he was most definitely in a hospital bed. He'd know a hospital bed anywhere.

And he was also looking directly into the eyes of one Leonard McCoy, M.D.

He shouted something over his shoulder in German, and then looked back down at Jim. "You are awake." he said slowly.

Jim nodded. He would've said something, but Leonard's eyes were a startling shade of hazel when they were this close.

"You are all right?" He asked, as if for clarification.

Jim nodded again. Bones turned and said something over his shoulder to a nurse, who nodded and left the room once more.

"You blew off our date." Jim muttered.

Leonard regarded him for a long while, trying to figure out what he'd said. And then he raised an eyebrow, turning to Jim's heart monitor. "I had to work."

Jim looked at the ceiling, acutely aware of Bones' breathing by his bedside. He wanted to turn his head, but there was a neckbrace keeping him from moving. "What the hell's this?"

Bones had no english word for it; he tried, but to no avail. "Just in case." he said instead, deciding that that would work well enough.

Jim sighed. He was silent for a little while, before muttering, "We can still class this as a date, right?"

There was a pause. Bones didn't have a bloody clue what he was talking about.

Someone spoke to him in quick German; a female voice, one that he didn't recognise. When Jim looked over at Leonard again, he was smirking. He shook his head, and said, very slowly, stumbling over his words, "This.. This is... how... how Americans date?"

Jim laughed outright, and found that, actually, his ribs really hurt.

"No laughing." Bones told him. "Bad-" He pointed to Jim's ribcage.

"Got it." Jim nodded.

Jim, it turned out, had three cracked ribs, a concussion, and several lacerations to his legs. So apparently he was going to be in hospital for a little while longer.

They endured horribly broken conversation, in the very worst setting that either could have chosen.

But when Jim caught the smile that graced Bones' lips out of the corners of his eyes-

He didn't mind so much.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm officially advertising for a beta reader - just someone to read through my stuff and give me an opinion, and fix a few typos. If you have a tumblr and would be interested (it'll be easy for me to submit my shizzle to you that way) you can contact me on adoctor-notaphysicist, or justateenagetimetravelerbaby.


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